I finally did it. I made an appointment to see the Doctor for a check up. It had been three years since I had gone to the Doctors. Amazing, I know at my age. Thought it was time since I have turned 50 and everything seems to be going to pot. Of course the Doctor could not explain why my muscles burn and ache at night when I finally put head to pillow. No diagnosis. Could not explain why my groin muscle feels like it is being stretched and pulled. (This really hurts, goes from one side to the other side.) I know, more sex could just be the cure or should I say some sex. Funny huh! If only you knew. A future post about that. Three vials of blood were drawn by a technician as gently as his big gruff hands could I suppose, still ended up with a nasty bruise. When you are 50 they also tend to examine you in places you never have been examined before. Yucky! I informed the Doctor how my wrist kills me often and my index fingers at times will not bend and become very stiff. My Father had rheumatoid arthritis, something I fear becoming crippled from. Blood test for that. Oh yeah Doctor, what about this 131 lbs I now weigh what can I do to take it off? She informs me the menopause doesn’t help and to exercise more. Always the answer. Not the one I was looking for, I want a magic pill and my 40 year old body back. I would be happy at 117 lbs again. I also informed the Doc it was time to quit smoking. Please help me with that magic pill and make it longer than 30 days this time. By the way, was not long enough the first go around. Almost one week on magic pill and it really alters the mood. Feelings of depression off and on during the day, tired as well, sometimes irritable. Like these guys. 
Please help my sanity with understanding and take nothing or my mood too personally. I need your help to get thru this so I don’t end up making an excuse to smoke again. Life is very stressful at this time. My work load is very heavy when I am trying to plan and prepare for a party. Back on topic. Blood test came back a letter received. You have tested negative for crippling arthritis, b12 an folic levels are good, still going thru menopause UNFORTUNATELY! I loved that last information, (unfortunately). Even my female Doctor understands the difficulty this presents and wishes it could go by quickly. One day soon PLEASE. Well I guess it is time to figure out what will please my brain when viewing my physical appearance. The right wardrobe will help, haven’t quite figured that out. Exercise daily, The Man has figured that out. Cover the mirrors temporarily? (Maybe) We tend to see ourselves totally opposite as others see us. Can I borrow your eyes for the time being? Set goals stick to them let nothing get in the way. (NO EXCUSES!!)
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