I Digress to my Daily Life

Although I have part II of California Dreaming started I must digress a little to a subject in my head that will not leave me be. 

MOTHERHOOD!!!!!

The years have long since gone when I was raising 4 little kids. I do remember the days however, when it seemed not one child could be happy, therefore it created discontent in the Family unit. How, I think back, did I handle these situations? How, I ask, did I command the respect from my Children a Mother needs in order to keep Peace and Harmony? Times were different, children were raised differently. We raised our children the same as we were raised, ever so slightly tweeking it a bit, leaving out the cause and affect that may create memories we did not want our children to be left with. The memories we have been left with, the ones we hoped not to duplicate for our beloved little ones. In all our efforts of doing that I am sure some of our children have memories that are not too pleasant for them. I was the Matriarch of our Family and I feel my children felt this, I spared their Father the dealings of misbehavior, for he worked hard for us and wanted to come home to happy. My children knew  just how far they may push me to my limits and testing these at times just to see if they could be in control. I did my best to stay consistent and stand my ground as the Mother. Is this the key word? (CONTROL) 

I write this because I am feeling now what my oldest feels daily. I am an outsider looking in on a daily basis seeing first hand todays parenting. The hardship parents put on themselves with the lack of routine, disciplining, and consistency. My oldest and two Grandchildren temporarily live with us. My wake up call every morning is due to someone crying and a Mother trying to quiet them loudly. JOY?

My evenings are filled with parents who come home from a long day barely saying hello to each other or anyone else in the house, they lack conversation and bring back the unhappiness into my home. A home that I am happy in all day alone, hoping to remain happy in the evening. They do not sit with their children for dinner and feed the children what they command  to eat to keep the peace. I would like to help but then I am stepping on toes. This may sound like a bitch fest post, and I am sorry for that. I am trying to wrap my brain around such unhappiness and the lack of laughter is beginning to wear on me. How do I??

Todays Child, or at least the 4 and 5 year old in my house right now, has toys aplenty to play with, which they never do, has very little imagination within themselves and lacks parents who try to bring it out of them. What does the future hold when children have what they desire but are not taught to do without or what to do with what they have? This I feel breeds entitlement.   What is my role now? I am a Grandmother who wants to love, nurture, and help. I say the wrong things often with looks of displeasure shot my direction. I try, try to bite my tongue and leave situations that occur to be handle by the parents finding someplace to hide. Imagine, stealing yourself away out of sight in your own home to stay happy. What to do? Should I take Control? 

What I do for now is remind myself often and the Man does as well, that this is a temporary situation and soon their new home will be built and we will go back to our way of living once again. Two old folks who raised their Children to be the best they desired to be and only they can bring themselves happiness. Often today adult children are moving back home, how do they do it? The parents. Who takes the lead? Do you surrender as the parent of an adult child? Do you try to open their eyes to what you see, offering your wisdom and solutions? For now staying silent is probably the best, for I love my Oldest and would hate for our relationship to be torn apart for she already displays such unhappiness of her own, which tears at my heart. If you were to ask her she would tell you none of this is true, that she is happy and everything is wonderful. It is hard to step outside of yourself and see within when you are in the center of it, without an open mind.

 

If you could see yourself and your life with another set of eyes not belonging to you, what would your life reveal? I know how I see myself and feel I am as a person but others may see me differently than I would like to be viewed.

I have so many questions about my situation now and very few answers for them come to mind that if said could and possibly would cause a riff between my oldest daughter, her family, and myself.

 So in conclusion, the only, and probably right thing to do is bide my time and stay happy from within, as not to alter or compromise myself. The self I view me to be is a loving, kind, generous, caring, happy Mother of adult Children, who did her best.  I know deep down inside my oldest is just trying to do her best as well.

Moving forward One Day at a Time

California Dreaming Part II

Awe the tranquility of the Ocean and sandy beach. To live so close to this is a dream for some. Cali girl is a hop skip and a jump from this Ventura Beach. Our visit to San Francisco over and that chapter closed for the time being. I do hope to see College son again this year and this time with the Man in tow. We arrive at the Cali couples home in the early evening. All of us are tired from the long drive and the first to show signs of how tired was this beauty. Curled up like a baby.

Sleep as long as you need for I know you have some adventures in mind for me while I am here. What will tomorrow hold?

The smell of coffee wakes me from slumber along with a busy Cali girl who rises each morning early to see her Cali man off to work and get busy with her day. What a good wife. I should do this but I don't. The man doesn't seem to care and all our 27 years together I haven't. Each morning you will find me drinking coffee on her front porch with ipad in hand catching up on others. Okay, looking at cake fan pages. 

Today we will head to town, a quaint town to shop and have a bite to eat. I have a few favorite boutiques and I would like to see what is new and different. The fashion in California is different from the Midwest. You will find garments that are a little more Bohemian, flowing, and less conservative. Today is take it easy day. Cali girl needs recuperating time from our trip to San Francisco, an 8 hour drive is hard on a body, for I am feeling the stiffening muscles at my age and it hits Cali girl hard due to her own health issues. Let the week begin. I am excited as well to try out the Vegan way of eating and will do my best the rest of the trip to eat this way. Cali man does the cooking in the evening and he is quite an inventive cook, coming up with dishes full of flavor while using few ingredients. "When in Rome do as the Romans do". 

Shopping in town holds to be fruitful with quite a few purchases of light weight sweaters along with linen comfy pants. Finding garments to fit this body of mine is getting trickier. Well maybe I should give this exercise "Body Core Reformer" machine Cali girl has purchased a try.

I watched her give this machine ago and it didn't seem too tough. I definitely could use some help with my center balance. Nice advertisement for this machine don't you think? Cali girl truly inspires me to get fit. She doesn't exercise for wieght loss as you can see she doesn't need that, she exercises to keep muscle and stay limber so the pain she experiences often is lessened. 

I love naps in the afternoon, do you? There isn't any pressure from me while visiting to keep going and see what Cali has to see. I don't care about being a tourist when I visit, I prefer to see how my Cali girl lives and live it with her. You need a nap Cali girl, I do too. Our afternoons after a morning adventure finds us doing this. 

Everyday holds something new, as the week goes on I feel it is all speeding by. Next adventure non- planned of course is a day spent out to lunch at a favorite restaraunt of the Cali couple in the Channel Island. 

The view from our table at Brophy Bros restaurant. I watch in amazement as Cali girl downs an oyster shooter. The onion rings were the best I have had, and then there is this meal. Yum Fried oysters. (I know, not very vegan, we will have that meal this evening.)

A wonderful meal not far from where Cali girl lives. What next? The Channel island is full of shops, there is one in particular Cali girl wants to check out. Who doesn't like trying on hats? This was pure fun. I really wanted to buy a hat but couldn't bring myself to settle on one I would wear often.

After lunch we decided it would be a good day for the beach. Home to change and grab the dogs. 

There are several beach front entrys and the one Cali girl enjoys is closed off this day. Hollywood seems to be filming something. Cali girl is a native now and shrugs this off with an "I can't believe it I love this beach." We head to another beach entry where a sign is posted No dogs on Beach. We test our luck and hope not to be seen with the dogs. (That sign didn't mean us, right?) The wind is brutal, finally all set up with blanket on the ground and along comes beach patrol. The young man says, "Your gonna hate me, but you can't have your dogs on the beach, there is an endangered species of birds nesting here. Follow my warning or not, up to you and if you don't you will be fined $300s." Well, we better heed his warning and head off the beach but not before we snap a few shots with the poochies.

Next visit, more beach time, no poochies. The sound of the ocean is tranquility. Don't you agree? I am so old, home for a nap will bring tranquility and a little down time. We did have a fun filled day.

 The icing on the cake today will be a trip into LA. We head off to visit the J. Paul Getty Museum. I have been informed of this museum by Cali girl who has fallen in love with this museum and what it beholds.  The museum sets high upon a hill, you must take a tram to the top for entry of the museum. I knew the art I would see would have to be spectacular, for the entry is quirky and amazing.

Would you call the architecture mid century modern?  Close up of this statue. Boy holding a frog. 

The museum has different themes displayed, the main theme is Japanese culture/art. We visit a few rooms before we feel hunger that must be taken care of. Off to the museums restaraunt. It is kind of fancy and my attire feels out of place. A gourmet menu for a first meal of the day, what to order? Crab cake with different sauces topped with greens. Very appetizing.

Time to see some paintings. We stumble into the impressionist room. Here I could have stayed for hours. To see works of famous art throughout time up close was a dream for me. We scout around the room when, Bam the painting that mystifies me. Monet one of the greatest impressionist of his time.

This is the Rouen Cathedral, I am not sure this is the painting I had the pleasure to view. Clude Monet did a series of this Cathedral, 30 in all, painting it in many facades at different times of the day and a year to reflect changes in its appearance under different lighting conditions. The Cathedral I viewed mesmerized me. From a certain distance it appears muted in blue and I couldn't quite make out the structure. The closer I came to the painting the Cathedral disappears all together and what is on the canvas? I view nothing but brushstrokes of color to form what will make up an image. Pure genius. I could have looked at this forever. Why do I not visit art museums more often for this painting has brought upon me a feeling of elation. WOW!

We head towards the gardens which change with the seasons. People are hanging out on the lawns soaking in the calming feeling the museum grounds hold.  Beauty abound.

 Time to go. Pit stop before a long ride back to Ventura and an off beat painting in an obscure place cracks me up. This is a huge canvas in 3D, funny right? Maybe it is just me and my sick sense of humor. I love this.

Last night with the Cali couple. I have one more day to spend here before I head home.

 We have had a funfilled week together. We shared a day with mani/pedis' and shopping for College son in order to stock his apartment with goods needed he didn't have and couldn't afford on one of our days in between the fun we shared. Our last day together will be another day of shopping at a favorite mall of Cali girls. Yes, I love shopping. I can see why she loves the mall, I do too. The Oaks mall in Thousand Oaks,CA  reminds me of my favorite mall at home, just a little ritzier. The Loft here is spectacular, a favorite place I shop now and can always find something to buy and fit off the clearance rack. I also found cute stuffed animals to bring back to the grandbabies as souvenirs of my trip. Worried a little about packing and the weight limit, I think I may have shopped too much on this visit. Oh well. Lunch in a new restaraunt I wish we had here at home. Stacked Food well built. This restaraunt is so inovative. You order from ipads at each table and place your food order when you are ready for it and customize the dishes offered to your liking. I love it. No worries that your entre will be delivered before you have eaten that appetizer, no waiting to get a refill or another drink until your waiter is available, you are given the capability to send your order to the kitchen when your ready. Ready to be on your way, no waiting for the check, what at times seems to take FOREVER. This may not be a restaraunt for the technically challenged maybe. They do however offer the standard way of serving for those who are. I love this and wish more restaraunts would implement this technology. What a better way to turn over those tables, the food was yummy as well.

Time to pack, having a wee bit a trouble closing my suitcase. This trip I only brought one big suitcase. Never again will I make this mistake. Laughing at myself and wondering what this weight may cost me. Sadness along with excitement to see the Man again is confusing. I don't want to leave Cali girl but I miss the Man. 

One more meal together. We decide a walk to a neighborhood Sushi place would be fun. I am not a fan but I feel I am good hands with Cali Man and he will order for me with care. Cali Man has mastered the making of sushi rolls with the best sticky rice and seaweed wraps, he made these several times. The restaraunt is quite a quirky little hole in the wall, saying this it seems to be a popular spot. No table for us this night. We sit where we can view the making of the sushi. This is fun to see. Trying to keep things light so the sadness of a wonderful trip doesn't overwhelm Cali girl and me. I so hate to leave her. You know the saying, "All good things must come to an end." Here we are our last night together.

A $105.00 fine for a bag that is overweight and time to board my flight for an overnight flight. 

My trip fully documented to relive this fun whenever I can't bear missing my Cali girl.

Thank You My Cali Couple for a wonderful Mother's Day gift.